When it comes to Nancy Wheeler—the most important secondary character of Stranger Things—I am neither here, nor there. Like, I neither like nor hate Nancy Wheeler. But, some fans blatantly hate her with passion. While most of that stems from the fact that she cheated on Steve, there are other petty reasons too. 

I digged too much into the stuff—what people say about her and the love triangle drama and here’s the tea I found.

‘I hate Nancy’ was a gradual progression over seasons

This gif sounds perfect for Nancy Wheeler sometimes—how she swirls between two characters, Jonathan and Steve, especially in seasons 1, 2, and 4. Oh! That makes 3 out of 4 seasons.

Season 1: Steve vs. Jonathan Begins

Nancy starts as the classic “good girl dating the popular guy.” Steve Harrington is charming but immature, while Jonathan is the quiet, artistic outsider. By mid-season, Nancy starts feeling disconnected from Steve (especially after Barb’s disappearance) and drawn to Jonathan because he understands her grief.
Fans were divided here — some saw it as natural character growth, while others accused her of emotional cheating.

Season 2: The Messy Breakup

This is where the drama really heated up.
Nancy is still with Steve but clearly distant. Their relationship falls apart during the Halloween party, where she drunkenly calls their love “bullshit.”

  • Why it made fans mad: Steve had already started his redemption arc. Nancy is aware of it too. Then why so cruel! 😭
  • Jonathan & Nancy’s “slow burn” kicks into high gear, and they officially get together — but not before a whole lot of tension and angst that some fans felt dragged out too long.

Season 3: Couple Drama 2.0

Nancy and Jonathan start as a couple, but their relationship gets strained at the Hawkins Post. She faces sexism, he feels sidelined, and they argue about priorities.
Meanwhile, Nancy and Steve start interacting again — and fans notice their chemistry is still there.

  • Reddit and TikTok were FULL of posts about how Nancy should get back with Steve.
  • It felt like this was the Duffers re-opening an old wound for unnecessary drama.

Season 4: Steve-Nancy 2.0?

The love triangle becomes obvious again in S4:

  • Nancy and Steve have multiple moments together (including that poolside heart-to-heart about being parents to six kids).
  • Jonathan and Nancy’s relationship struggles with long-distance, miscommunication, and unspoken doubts. 

By the finale, it feels like Nancy might be reconsidering Steve, which sent shippers into chaos — Stancy fans rejoiced, Jancy fans felt betrayed.

Nancy is a realistic character, written with flaws: indecisiveness, workaholic tendencies, communication problems, emotional distancing, recklessness, and guilt complex—all making her hate-worthy as well as real. 😕

There are other reasons too, why Nancy Wheeler is hated the most

I like Nancy mainly because she had a voice—in times when women faced sexism almost everywhere. She was an unsung feminist icon—a girl who refuses to be put in a box, who steps up when no one else will, and who becomes a voice of reason amidst chaos. We saw Vecna’s backstory through her eyes only; can see how important she is to the show.

But these are the reasons I hated Nancy in all 4 seasons of Stranger Things. 

Love-triangle that’s too messed up: Nancy’s most criticized storyline is the one thing the Duffers seem unwilling to drop: the Steve-Jonathan-Nancy triangle. Fans argue that Nancy’s indecision drags across seasons — she breaks Steve’s heart, moves on with Jonathan, but ogles him in the 4th season. Girl! Get a grip! 

‘Oh! I am too perfect’ syndrome: Not voicing out my opinion here. It’s interesting to have a female character that’s brilliant, brave, popular, leads well, AND pretty. And, somehow she is always right. All the traits that can make some viewers root against her. This is what got her tagged with “main character syndrome.” 

I don’t know but this reminded me of Marilyn Monroe’s popular gif

Of how she treated Steve: Let’s be honest — Nancy telling Steve he was just “bullshit” hurt everyone watching, especially since Steve went on to have one of the best redemption arcs of the show. Her apathy towards Steve was what made everyone hate Nancy Wheeler since season 2. 

Colder than the Upside Down: While Nancy’s investigative drive is one of her best traits, I personally feel that she becomes emotionally detached from those around her. When Barb dies, Nancy takes on the case like a detective — but she rarely has breakdowns or slower emotional moments, which makes her come across as colder compared to the rest of the group.

Doesn’t have as many fun moments as others: Let’s face it, Nancy is not a comedic character — she doesn’t have Dustin’s goofy energy, Steve’s charm, or Robin’s sarcasm. So when the group has light-hearted moments, she can sometimes feel like the killjoy, making Nancy more annoying than others.

seriously nancy
How many of you feel that Nancy isn’t a good friend to Barb? She ditched her at Steve’s party, ignored her discomfort, and was too caught up in impressing Steve to notice Barb’s feelings. Her later guilt shows she cared, but it came a little too late. Barb was lying out in the cold, while Nancy… Hmm… you know… having fun upstairs with Steve! 🥶

Is Nancy a feminist icon?

Okay. before we jump to feminism qualifying tests, we need to be aware that this is an 80s based show. What was shown here was more of a quieter and personal, not overtly political portrayal of feminism through Nancy’s character. But, I wouldn’t say Nancy’s character is entirely feministic.

Feminism shines through Nancy’s character 💯Not really feministic 👎
She is an ambitious girl with career goals. In the ‘80s, a young woman pursuing investigative journalism was already a statement.Who should I choose and love? All this while there’s turbulence brewing in the city?! Can’t accept this as a feminist move, even though she is a teen by then.
She can’t be silenced. How she investigated Barb’s disappearance, showing determination to seek truth.Chose boyfriend over best friend and manipulated her, which led to her disappearance and eventually death.
A woman in male-dominated fields. Hawkins Post newsroom or a monster hunt, Nancy is just there.Fans justify her boldness with how she is privileged in many ways; is born into a decent family. Has a family reputation. And, is given a good amount of freedom too. 
Voices out against misogyny. In S3, she directly confronts her co-workers’ sexist remarks and mocks their outdated views. Bold for someone from the 80s era.

Finally

We may hate her. But we can’t deny the fact that she too, had an equally skyrocketing character growth—just like Steve. She starts as the perfect, rule-following teenager, desperate to fit in, date the popular guy. But Barb’s disappearance, her guilt, and everything she learns about Hawkins break her out of that shell. By Season 2, she’s actively seeking truth, standing up to authority, and risking her safety to expose Hawkins Lab. By Season 4, Nancy is basically a leader—strategizing Vecna’s takedown, wielding a shotgun, and not waiting for anyone to save her.